Posts

The Importance of Self-Love

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I always thought I was an extrovert because I am pretty friendly and enjoy being around people.  That is, until a few years ago, after I read a book by Susan Cain called  Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. I learned that extroverts get their energy by being with other people, and that friendliness has nothing to do with it. That explains why going to parties where I don't know anyone makes me incredibly anxious (which may be a big news flash for those of you who know me). Introverts often derive their energy from being alone. That explains why I love it when I don't have plans for the weekends. One of the other characteristics of introverts is that they tend to be overly critical of themselves. Hmmm...I have always been my own worst critic. "Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens." -  Louise Hay Self-love (not selfie-love) and self-...

Do You Have a Dream?

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"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."  - Martin Luther King Jr. Back in the day, when the kids were young, at this point in the summertime, we would start to count down the last low-key remaining days until the start of school. While they were complaining about how fast the summer went and how the school year should be two months long, and summer should be ten months long, I would be secretly celebrating. I loved being an at-home mom, but it did take its toll in the summer with all of that extra time on our hands. My goal every day was to find low-cost activities for three energetic kids who were all two years apart. The beginning of August meant their time for sleeping in late, going to the beach, and roasting marshmallows at night would soon be coming to an end. This year, I am openly celebrating the new school year for a different reason! I always dreamed of going to graduate school, but it never seemed like the right ti...

Why You Should Throw Away Your Scale

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Sometimes the scale does a number on our heads, especially when we've been "good" all week and can't understand why the numbers haven't budged. Then, our inner critic takes over, "Why should I even bother, I've tried everything, nothing works." We get discouraged. We give up. While the weight on the scale matters, it doesn't tell the whole story. It's what that weight is made up of (body composition) that is a far more critical number. Many of us still hold onto the illusion that a magical number will make us happy and feel like we have succeeded. When that day does not arrive, we tell ourselves little lies such as, "I'm too old to lose weight," "My metabolism isn't what it used to be," "Things will never change." To combat this toxic relationship with our scale, we challenge you to kick it to the curb, throw it out, donate it to the Goodwill, or smash it to pieces! Then, look into having yo...

A Different Way to Look at Willpower

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Decisions, decisions. All-day long, our brains are bombarded with making decisions. Work, school, family, medical, nutrition, exercise, vacations, etc. All this thinking can cause fog in the brain! We may not even be aware that the sum total of all of these decisions depletes our energy, and when our energy becomes sapped, our willpower follows. By the time we have to face the chips and salsa at Grill Creations, we realize that our willpower has been weakened. I mention Grill Creations because I recently put myself through a willpower test. To me, chips and salsa are harder to resist than a bread and butter basket. I wanted to see what it felt like to resist these crunchy little pieces of heaven sitting in front of me while my husband munched away. Believe me, I was starrrvvviiinnngggg, which made it even more difficult. The first few minutes were the hardest because I needed something to do with my hands. I thought for sure, out of sympathy, that my husband would ask the server ...

Personal Trainer Eavesdrops on Conversation

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Recently, I overheard two women in the waiting room at the salon. They looked like they were in their late 50's, early 60's talking about their aches and pains and how life is all downhill once you reach a certain age. I cringed as I waited for my name to be called. I knew that if I sat there and listened to any more of the negative self-talk and how these two have convinced themselves that life is doom and gloom once you hit a certain age, I was going to say something I would regret.  At the gym, clients know that if I hear this kind of talk, I will most likely deliver my "We become what we think about most" speech and how negativity will lead us down the path of self-fulfilling prophecies.  "Oh, please call my name soon," I thought to myself as my heart started to beat a little faster, and my face felt hot. To keep me from opening up my mouth, I kept my head down in my magazine, trying to mind my own business, and wait for my name to be called. I was ...

No Magic Pill, Only Sheer Will

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Proper nutrition will change your body composition. Poor nutrition will prevent you from changing your body composition. Period. Many people believe they can "work off" last night's indulgences or add an extra workout to make up for a summer of chardonnay, but unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. It takes hard work and pig-headed determination to make these changes. If we are serious and stop the excuses, it will happen. It's not sexy. There is no magic pill, only sheer will . "I have no self-control." "Get some."  Self-control is something you must generate. I promise it is not going to show up on its own . We must be intentional until these new thought patterns become habits. Here's your armor: 1. Preemptive Strikes. Be prepared for that doughnut offer by practicing saying no (or no thank you to your coworker). My father used to say birds of a feather flock together, and he was right (now I tell it to my kids). Your ...

It's all in your Head

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The other day, one of our Active Life Fitness members complained about her "problem area" as she rubbed her belly. She said, "If only I could get rid of this," grabbing a chunk of her midsection. I told her that the only "problem area" on her body was her head! If we believe we have a problem area, our brains tell our bodies, "keep that area a problem."  The subconscious mind doesn't interpret the goals; it only responds to what it is programmed to do! Our brains do not differentiate between positive or negative thoughts about ourselves, it just carries out the instruction. In fact, our subconscious minds control 95% of what we do! How do our conscious minds turn into our subconscious minds? By believing our "truths" about ourselves, such as "I have a problem area," and then replaying that story over and over again to ourselves and others until it becomes embedded in our subconscious. How do we fix it? By thinkin...

Going to the gym even when you don't feel like it

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On many evenings, you may see some members of our ALF family dragging themselves in, understandably so. They have been beaten up by the stresses and demands of their commute, family, and jobs. Sometimes they arrive wiped out, exhausted, and unable to fathom how they will get through their workout. Welcome to life in New Jersey. Once they start moving, their troubles seem to melt away, their energy level increases, and the stress of the day decreases. Witnessing this transformation is a beautiful thing and makes us so proud! Little successes add up to big ones, and changing our mindset in the process is critical! I know it's our job to inspire you, but lately, the tables have turned, and you have been inspiring us. We appreciate the fun, inspiring stories we have heard over the last few weeks as we have been on this push for goal setting and figuring out our WHY. The other day, a member shared a great story with a group of us. She was referring to the conversation she had with...

Time to Breathe

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For most of us, the only time we are aware of our breathing is when we exert ourselves, have a physical or emotional problem, or during the "breathing drills" we do before every workout at ALF.  Although the Central Nervous System controls breathing, the way we breathe is a habit and is considered to be one of our most dysfunctional movement patterns. Breathing also plays a critical role in the quality of how we move. When breathing is normal, posture and stabilization of the spine are easier to maintain. Conversely, when breathing is dysfunctional, it compromises our posture and stability, causing back, neck, and shoulder pain as well as many other health issues.  When posture is jeopardized by faulty breathing patterns, it affects spinal function, which then culminates into improper movement patterns. This combination can result in a perfect storm that creates pain, fatigue, and anxiety.  The muscle we most associate with breathing is the diaphragm. When ...

2017 Goals

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One of my goals this year is to become a master of time management. I have always used my google calendar pretty efficiently but not as well as I could. I was inconsistent with the reminder alerts, so my mornings went something like this: While still in my PJ's, I would take out my laptop and get to work. I am more creative in the morning, so that's when I get most of my writing done. While absorbed in a project, thinking that I am very productive, distractions would creep in. Maybe it was an email that led to a video that brought me to an advertisement for a tropical island vacation. Then possibly a day-dream of me on the beach ordering an umbrella drink. I look at the clock and realize how late it is, and frantically get ready for work. That story is somewhat embellished to get my point across, but distractions are a thing of the past for me (at least, on paper)! I am committed to being more in control of my mornings and my day! I will accomplish this by only checking...

That Was Then, This Is Now

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About seven years ago, I was at a party where the hostess was telling what she thought was a funny story about me in front of many people. Her story was the day she witnessed me in my car, screaming and carrying on while stuck in a line of traffic. Time stood still for me as she repeated the story numerous times, giving more details each time as she laughed louder and louder. As I stood there, uncomfortable and embarrassed, many thoughts went through my head: should I defend myself and explain to her how difficult my life was? Should I tell her that I didn't want to be late for my client and be unprofessional because of my excellent work ethic? Should I just laugh along with her and take it in stride? Maybe, I should deny that it was even me! I did none of the above, but instead, I stood there feeling self-conscious and vulnerable. She did not know that I was a sleep-deprived and depressed single mother trying to make ends meat. Although I was divorced for a few years, my ex-hus...

We All Need a Coach

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In October of 2015, we had our first ribbon cutting of Active Life Fitness. Being a new business owner was exciting, but it was also terrifying and exhausting. Having that responsibility was a lot different than working one-on-one as a personal trainer as I had been for many years. I was so sure of myself leading up to the opening, but as the photographer’s camera clicked on that day, I suddenly felt… uncertain. The people we were three years ago are very different from who we are now. We have come a long way. We survived the destruction of our gym from a fire next door. sed to discover this. It's not often that I look back and pat myself on the back for the progress I’ve made because I’m usually hell-bent on tackling the tasks ahead. But over the past year I’ve worked hard to make myself a better trainer, business owner and coach - whether it has been by attending workshops, reading the latest books by successful business people, participating in a business mastermind...

When one door closes

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When one door closes, another one opens was a common phrase we heard from many people when we left our jobs to pursue starting our own business. One year later, Active Life Fitness was born, and three months after that, our gym was destroyed by a fire. When one door closes, another one opens was, once again, a phrase we clung to and believed to be true. But today was the first time I ever heard from someone, “Why didn't you take the insurance money and run?” The thing I love about 90-year-olds is that they tell it like it is, and they don’t care how it sounds. My answer to this particular woman was, “I guess if we had felt that we made a mistake in opening Active Life Fitness maybe we would have, or if we had been in business for a while and were feeling burnt out, this may have been an option, but we don’t fit the description of either of those things.” I told her we love what we do, we love being in business together (although that does have its challenges), and we have...